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Babble Monger : General Humor

General Humor

Always Remember You're Unique. Just Like Everyone Else
And You Say 'Psycho' Like It's a Bad Thing
Be Nice to Your Children. They Choose Your Nursing Home
Be nice, I could be your nurse someday
Canadian. I don't tip
Chaos, Panic, Disorder... My Work Here Is Done
Congratulate Me, I Used to Be Anorexic
Dear Lord, please protect us from your followers
Dinner Is Ready When the Smoke Alarm Goes Off
Diplomacy is the Art of Saying 'Nice Doggie' Until You Can Find a Rock
Don't Make Me Put My Hand on My Hip
Due to Budget Cuts, the Light at the End of the Tunnel Has Been Turned Off
Enough with the Cowbell Already
Experience Is Something You Don't Get Until Just After You Need It
For sale by owner
Girls Don't Poop
God Made Only a Few Great Heads, On the Others He Put Hair
Good Girls are Bad Girls That Never Get Caught
Growing Old Is Mandatory. Growing Up Is Optional
Have fun storming the castle!
How Long a Minute Is Depends on Which Side of the Bathroom Door You're On
I Am Not a Pack Rat I Am a Collector
I Bent the Rules and the Rules Won
I bring nothing to the table
I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian
I didn't do it
I do all my own stunts
I Don't Play Well with Others
I Get Enough Exercise Just Pushing My Luck
I got nothin'
I know you are but what am I?
I Live in My Own World, But It's OK. They Know Me Here
I make Stuff Up
I May Be Wrong
I put the M and the E in TEAM
I Run with Scissors
I Used to Have a Handle on Life, but It Broke
I WAS with stupid
I Wish the Buck Stopped Here I Could Use a Few
I'll try to be nicer if you'll try to be smarter
I'm a Consultant. You Have to Pay to Talk to Me
I'm Dressed and Out of Bed. What More Do You Want?
I'm not Lazy, I just don't give a fuck
I'm Not Cynical, I'm Just Experienced
I'm Not Psychic
I'm part of the problem
I'm Pregnant. What's your excuse?
I'm Retired. This is as dressed as I get
If at first you don't succeed, to hell with it
If Idiots Could Fly, This Place Would Be an Airport
In Dog Years, I'm Dead
Instant Human. Just add Coffee
Keep Grandma Off the Streets. Take Her to Bingo
Life is like being nibbled to death by ducks
Make It Idiot Proof, and Someone Will Make a Better Idiot
My Job Is Secure. Nobody Wants It
My Karma ran over your Dogma
My Mom Calls Me No! No! But My Grandma Calls Me Sweetie
My reality is better than your reality
My Wild Oats have turned to Oat Bran
No Cruise Control
No, I won't fix your computer
Normal People Scare Me
Not My Problem
Nuke Whales for Jesus
Out of Body. Back in Ten Minutes
Out of My Mind. Will Be Back Shortly
Party, My Crib, 2 a.m.
Plain Clothes Cop
Somebody Else's Problem
Statistics Means Never Having to Say You're Certain
Stop Following Me! I'm Not a Shoplifter
Talk nerdy to me
Tastes Like Chicken
The Floggings will Continue until Morale Improves
They don't pay me enough to be nice to you
This is my party shirt
This is Not the Life I Ordered
To Err is Human. To Really Screw Up, You Need a Computer
Today is Gonna Suck
Today Was a Total Waste of Makeup
Trust Me. I'm a Lawyer
Ugly Stick Victim
Welcome to Berkeley! Please stop doing that.
When religion ruled the world, it was called the Dark Ages
When Your Dreams Turn to Dust, Vacuum
Where are we Going? And Why are we in this Handbasket?
Where there's a Will I want to be in it
Yes, I AM out of my mind
You Non Conformists Are All Alike
Feet Planted Firmly in the Clouds
Everything is Gravy

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